by Dr. Larry Ollison, Ph.D. 

What does forgiveness mean? Well, it means this -- to absolve from payment or to cancel a debt. You may say, “What do you mean to cancel a debt?” Well, I’m glad you asked, because it’s this way. Most people who are holding unforgiveness in their heart feel that the person who has hurt them, owes them. How many times have you heard someone say, “I’ll forgive you this time, but you owe  me?”

The reason they feel the person owes them is because in reality they haven’t forgiven that person. If they would have truly forgiven them, then they would have, “canceled the debt,” and nothing would have been owed.

Once I counseled with a lady who had been taken advantage of when she was young. She hated her father. When she got old enough to realize what he had taken from her, the hate began. The hate grew over the years. She felt that he owed her. Then he died. She was devastated. How could he die? He owed her. She felt that somehow he should have to give back the years of pain, sadness and fear. He owed her her youth.

Another mother gave away all her son’s inheritance while she was on her deathbed. She told him she did it just so he wouldn’t get anything. Then she died. For years this man carried around bitterness in his heart. He lived each day with this hurt. As he put it one day, it was eating him alive. Like a cancer, he was being destroyed. His mother owed him.

Both of these people felt they had a debt owed to them. Both of these people were consumed with bitterness and unforgiveness. They were depressed and miserable. Only one thing could solve their problem and that was this. They needed to cancel that debt.

Let’s get real here. There is no way that people who have wronged you can ever repay you what they have taken from you. You just have to let it go. Forgiveness means to LET IT GO! You have to decide to cancel that debt. They can’t repay the years of hurt. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t. God is the One who restores, not man. You must LET IT GO!

Satan does not want you to forgive anyone for anything. He wants you to hold on to every hurt and pain. He wants you destroyed and he knows that unforgiveness will do it.

Jesus said in Mark 11:24-26, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses, but if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Jesus said that if we didn’t forgive others, then God would not forgive us. We could elaborate on this, but how much clearer could Jesus be? If we don’t forgive, we won’t be forgiven.

Years ago there was a person who had me so upset and filled with unforgiveness, that I was miserable. Then one day I realized that all the time I was in misery, he was out having a good time. My unforgiveness was tearing me up inside, but it wasn’t affecting the other person at all. And that’s the way unforgiveness is. The one that is destroyed is the one who won’t forgive.